Hello  again!

Another week down. This week has been a hell of a rollercoaster.

Some storys:
On Saturday I did bar-hopping with my best and also bearded friend. We had a lot of fun and I felt pretty confident and proud with my beard. image [Pic will follow soon]
I drank way too much alcohol since a long time and spend the night near the toilet bowl after I was at home. I wont trouble you with the details, but to barf with a beard isnt fun.... So you sure do understand that Sunday was a bad beard (and head) day! image


On monday I had a staff outing with some of my co-workers and we went to a thermal bath. It´s been the first time with a wet and unstyled beard in public and I felt like an idiot most of the time. Especially with my long stache hanging around everywhere. Well, I got to get used to it and I know that other doesnt see it that critical as I do.
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On Tuesday I did get my first comment from a unknown at a bakery. The man was about 70 years old and clean shaven. He did an head nod while smiling at me. So I did the same. Then he asked me "Should we be afraid of you?" I asked him why and so he gesticulated a moustache with his fingers on his face. I guess he wanted to make the old terrorist-joke. I smiled and said "A man needs a good moustache!" Than he said "Come a little closer!" I went over to him and he surveyed my stache a few seconds. "Yes that is a good moustache!" Then he told me a story that he had a beard when he was younger and that the ladys liked it... I ordered my bread and then I had to abort the meanwhile one-sided conversation because i was in a hurry.... I went to my car and asked myself "What was that?!?!" Usually strangers dont talk to me but it was pretty funny retrospectively.

There were other compliments during the week even from 2 women: "In some way I like your stache " The stache is looking good!"
Yesterday another compliment from a co-worker who hadn´t seen me a few weeks: "Your beard looks cool Tom!"
The comments were out of the blue. Feels weird and it makes me feel more confident for a few hours. Most of the people dont comment my beard, but it seems to me that even strangers are looking at me longer. Like I am more noticeable. Could also be that this is just my opinion.
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My beard and how I feel about it:
The stache seems to be the center of attraction (on this board and in real live) and I am pretty proud of it at the moment. Although the right side has more bulk than the left, and there are a few hairs that resist taming and are a bit out of place. I also lose 3-4 whiskers every day while carefully combing it. As I read on this board, it seems to be a normal thing?!

But I am really frustrated of the rest of my beard. The longer it gets and the more it is lifting and hanging from my face,  the less denser it appears to me. And it is looking pretty bottom heavy because of my missing sideburns and weak cheeks..  The "bulk" on the neck has a pretty weak area in the middle up to the chin which is not easy to hide. If I would comb it all straight down, you could easily the skin in the middle. So I comb and brush the denser hairs from the chin toward this area. I just cant see a good looking beard in the mirror no matter what distance i stand.

I am willing to keep it growing a few more weeks. At least 2 more months.
I believe you guys that time and length will solve this doubts and I also know that I am my own worst enemy and that I maybe take this whole beard thing to serious.  But if my doubts wont disappear I need to change something. I am having more bad and doubting days than good at the moment. I dont want to please anybody else, I just want to be happy with my beard.

I am going to have a week off in the first week of May. I made the serious plan to shave my head in this week. This could be a big reason to keep the beard alive because I look stupid with no hair and this would also solve the "no-sideburn-issue". And my girlfriend doesnt care anymore! As I mentioned again to maybe go bald she just said: "I will love you with or without hair."


Yours "doubting Thomas"


P.S.: I know I wrote a lot and its not that interesting to everybody. But in somehow it makes me feel good to have this words written. This thread has become my beard-diary I want to share with you.

 

Days of growing my beard
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