^^Or you could just create another line of beard products. Beardodorant. Wait...forget I said anything...I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST!!!

In 1567, Hans Steininger, the burgomaster of Braunau (then Bavaria, now Austria), died when he broke his neck by tripping over his own beard. The beard, which was 4.5 feet (1.4 m) long at the time, was usually kept rolled up in a leather pouch. --source (Beard Responsibly, my friends)