Well, if he takes the Oregon Trail there's but one transport mode acceptable:

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Some helpful links:
Library Central of Beard Growing


Taming the Wild Mustache
Tips for eating and drinking with a big mustache

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
A jerk with a beard is just a bearded jerk, but a bearded gentleman is awesomeness personified. ~ Triibeard