Speaking of a bearded love-child, my wife is 22 weeks pregnant and people keep asking me if the baby is going to come out with a beard. While I think that is highly unlikely this knit-craft available on Etsy is a distinct possibility:

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Neck warmer, extinct megafauna, punching bag, crumb catcher, built-in sunscreen, napkin, air filter, girl repellent, woman attractant, facebook fodder, grease trap
- - -
-My Beard Journey (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beard)
-My homemade beard balm recipe!