A belated welcome, sir! That's a beautiful family and fine beard you have there.

I agree with BB1 that it's time to stop trimming the mustache. While it looked balanced with your shorter beard it's just too small to look good with your longer beard, IMHO. Follow the tips in the 'Taming the Wild Mustache' thread (link in my signature below) and just let it grow. It will be annoying for a while but, in time, it will behave. Also, I think that both you and your wife will find it more comfortable than your trimmed one since you'll no longer have this field of little daggers.

It sounds to me, based on your question about tucking under, that you're still sort of in the scruffy phase. With a bit more length the hairs should start to lay better as gravity takes hold on them. You can also try using a beard balm to help shape things.

Cheers!
Tom


Some helpful links:
Library Central of Beard Growing


Taming the Wild Mustache
Tips for eating and drinking with a big mustache

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
A jerk with a beard is just a bearded jerk, but a bearded gentleman is awesomeness personified. ~ Triibeard