User501 wrote:
So my new mustache did not come with instructions. How does one eat a peach while wearing this thing?! 

Ah yes, the joys of learning how to eat all over again!  The best thing to do is cut it up.  Otherwise, just dive and enjoy and wash up later.

Take a look at the 'Tips for Eating and Drinking with a Big Mustache' link in my signature below for other hints and downfalls.

Cheers!
Tom


Some helpful links:
Library Central of Beard Growing


Taming the Wild Mustache
Tips for eating and drinking with a big mustache

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
A jerk with a beard is just a bearded jerk, but a bearded gentleman is awesomeness personified. ~ Triibeard