Hey Phil, welcome to the board! Maybe you could try and upload some pictures? That would help immensely with trying to assess your problem and give you more tailored advice.
From your description it seems that you have already spotted most problems and solutions.
You can gradually change the growth direction (to a certain degree) of your beard, like you do when you train a stache to grow into a handlebar. So brushing your beard into one direction repeatedly could certainly have something to do with it growing in that peculiar shape. Brushing it into a different direction will help train it to grow accordingly.
Added length will help straighten the hair, longer hairs=more for gravity to work on.
The honest amish beard balm can help shape the beard - they also make a heavier Heavy Duty balm and "beard wax" which is stronger than balm but lighter than moustache wax.
Good luck and keep us posted!

I have written a bit about different beard products here:
moustache cups and mugsbeard brushes and combs
beard literature | simple homemade beard oil

my beard journey | my bart * aber herzlich beard oil | Bartöl store (external link, not affiliated with or endorsed by beard board)