Straight, narrow, and BEARDED, Truman. Don't make BHster AND me come over there and superglue your follicles back on. (Okay, you got him? Alright, Truman, this IS probably going to hurt!)

Yeah, no amount of OCD is worth ruining your successful bearded life. Just look back through your thread, and the evidence is clearly visible -- EVERY bearded Truman looks so much better than any shaved Truman. Of course, no one would really ever threaten you, and we would support and encourage you in whatever choice you make -- but just remember, the encouragement can be very persuasive if need be.

Triibeard's Thirty-NINE years of being bearded    (The recent journey from a short- to a long-beard)
Introducing LEGO-Sheriff Triibeard     (The origin story for our polymeric polychromatic hero)
Sheriff Triibeard and The Case of the Missing Beard Balm   (In search of that scoundrel RiffRaff)
Sheriff Triibeard and the Hermit Hoarder    (Consequences of acquisitiveness)

In a world of shorn faces, it is our privilege to offer those around us the exquisite opportunity to know a gentleman with a beard.