As editing my review on the last page will cause it to lose its formatting, I'll chuff right along.

image

           Simply Vanilla by The Bearded Bastard

About a week ago, my Simply Vanilla moustache wax arrived in the mail. It isn't the easiest to get your hands on, as The Bearded Bastard himself, Jeremiah Newton, only releases them about once a week in drips and drabs - as few as around six to around sixteen. If you're after some I suggest hunting him down on social media, as he gives a shout-out when he makes them available in the store. You'll have to go straight to the source for this one, as sites like Beardbrand who may carry Woodsman oil and wax or the brilliant Morocco oil don't carry it.

The tin is one ounce and has Jeremiah's trademark wood labels, keeping these as possibly the most aesthetically pleasing beard products on the market. Simply Vanilla, simply put, is no simulacrum from some simular, but an act almost simoniacal; it's like a similitude of a similar simulated scent far from the simoom, a symphony leaving your moustache simonized (that sentence was, incidentally, a simile)...or, bad Alan Moore references aside, nothing less than awesome.

 image

Like Morocco, you sort of get the impression the moment you hear the name that you know what it's going to be like. It doesn't disappoint - the vanilla scent is strong (as Bearded Bastard's scents often are, as opposed to Mod Cabin whose scents are not quite as strong) and sweet, is terrific under your nose, and doesn't vanish with the first Turkish restaurant you walk past. It even withstood some decent rain and trip with a bucket of fried chicken - but you wouldn't expect any less from a brand just got a shout-out in Esquire (man, Bearded Bastard and Beardbrand have been killing it lately). On the scent not much more can be said - it's an awesome vanilla scent that provides much-needed relief from the endless range of wood products many businesses release. While Jeremiah doesn't advertise his scent blend like some, it appears beyond the base, the sole essence of this wax comes from Madagascar Vanilla Essential Oil, so you know what you're getting is what you're getting.

You can be sure your moustache is, er, in good hands - the wax still contains a base of jojoba oil and beeswax (among others), keeping it looking and feeling good all day. The hold is great, equal to the Woodsman wax, and with my moustache up it has withheld a barrage of different weather (from rain to 42°c/108°F) and foods (oh, god, the gelati). Those who grow beards are no stranger to going beyond convention - for those looking for something different, perhaps a bit more modern and close-quarters-acceptable a scent, or just a wax that keeps your 'stache stylish, look no further. If it weren't for the fact that the vanilla does not perfectly match the scent of many oils (if you're the fastidious type) this would take the throne from the neutral musk scent of Oregon Wild Hair. Time to lose the weekly release schedule, though.

 image

                              Slow & Steady - Read My Thread Here                              
Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...