RichardNixon wrote:
Title says it all, really. I was shifting some stuff about and figured, "While my beard gear (geard?) is all together, why not talk a wee bit about it all?"
So, with QI blaring in the background I thought I'd write this up.

I lost this once or twice while writing but luckily had it copied & pasted, so hopefully everything will be looking alright.

Let's get into it:



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Reviews:

Oils:

Beardbrand
   Spiced Citrus
    Tea Tree
     Tree Ranger

The Bearded Bastard
   Morocco
    Woodsman

The Mod Cabin
   Gunbarrel
    Miner's Mint
     Ridge Runner
      Stirner
       Vagabond

Wax:

The Bearded Bastard
   Woodsman

Honest Amish
   Original Wax

Oregon Wild Hair
   Musk Wax

Wash:

Bluebeards Original
   Beard Wash
    Wonder Beard Intensive Repair
     Beard Saver Leave-in Conditioner



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Beardbrand

For a newer business, Beardbrand has become hugely popular and well recommended, thanks well in part to Beardbrand's founder (and Beard Board member) Eric Bandholz's tireless work on social media, great YouTube channel and recent media coverage. It is the most expensive of the three beard oils I've tried, however the quality is terrific. I hope Beardbrand ventures out into creating some more diverse oils, however what Eric Bandholz does, he does well. All oils have a base of jojoba oil, and more.

Spiced Citrus, which Beardbrand creator Eric Bandholz has stated was his personal favourite, is a terrific oil. The hook is definitely the vanilla in the scent blend, which makes for a scent that is objectively pleasing. My personal opinion is that this is something that should be aimed for - while, yes, we grow our beards for us, there's something about the idea of dabbing yourself with Tree Ranger and wandering around an office smelling like a lumberjack's flannel jacket just seems slightly out-of-place to me (perhaps it's my dusty country upbringing). Spiced Citrus subsequently makes for a terrific beard oil, helped out by the clove and grapefruit essence. 

Tree Ranger, Beardbrand's 'default' oil and arguably Eric Bandholz's response to Bearded Bastard's Woodsman oil, is a fine, fresh forest-y scent. The level of delight you take in it is likely dependent on personal circumstances - as an Australian, I find it to be a bit less like our forests (as I'm from the desert) and a bit more like the old pine tree air freshener you had in your car in 1996. It's definitely not a particularly unique scent, with many beard oil companies online offering a woods scent, but it's more than decent and serves well.

Tea Tree - after now having ten oils in total, I believe that the Tea Tree remains the sole oil I will continue to purchase from Beardbrand when my supply's exhausted. While Tea Tree isn't enormously adventurous, the scent blend also contains vanilla and, one I'm big on, mint (see The Mod Cabin and Bearded Bastard below). Speaking earlier of objectivity, this was the first oil that {ahem} the ladies seemed to enjoy every bit as much as I. It's almost a sort of sweet scent which lingers felicitously, not irksomely - in other words, a bloody good job by Beardbrand. It really is a great oil, backed as with the others by almond, castor, grapeseed and jojoba oils. Personal favourite.

The Bearded Bastard

From the heart of Austin, Texas, The Bearded Bastard cometh. Creator Jeremiah states that he makes some "pretty sweet" grooming products - I think he's underselling himself.

Ah, Morocco. One of the most popular and recommended beard oils on the internet - I even saw a fellow in my Melbourne suburb's shopping centre with some. The Bearded Bastard puts 110% into his oils, from the burned-in wood labels to the incredible base scent blends of no less than seven oils - including jojoba, but not including the individual scent blend. As somebody who's somewhere in between 'travelled' and 'globetrotter', Morocco really is an exotic scent of tobacco, coffee grounds, mint (there it is again) and others. Slightly surprisingly it's also five dollars cheaper than Beardbrand's own line of oils. Quite simply it's really a must-have, and of the two oils Bearded Bastard currently have available (I've seen hints of an Opium Den one but doesn't look like it's come to fruition yet) it is leagues apart from Woodsman. Perhaps not for every man, as it's rather bold, but again the term 'exotic' is very apt compared to the many other beard oils out there. Personal favourite..

Which brings us to the Woodsman beard oil, which is considerably easier to sum up - it perfectly compliments the fine Woodsman moustache wax, and is essentially a cheaper, more aesthetically pleasing version of its cousin, Beardbrand's Tree Ranger. The differences between the two can be smelt, but are really not enormous - it, like Tree Ranger, is a good, manly, outdoors-scented, no-foolin' beard oil that will make you want to climb mountains, camp under a rock in the Humboldt-Toiyabe National Forest and chop trees with your sideburns. 

The Mod Cabin

The Mod Cabin out of Colorado is the newest brand of beard oil I've tried, and they do exactly what I was aiming for - create a great range of unique beard oils (which even come in sprays, and of course like the other businesses above they made an array of other products). I knew the moment I read 'Miner's Mint' that I had to try some.
Please note that I only ordered the smaller corked vials while deciding which ones I liked the most, and they absolutely come in a screw-top bottle like the oils above. They are also the cheapest of the lot. As always - jojoba base (among other oils).

Gunbarrel is the token woods-scent, along the lines of Woodsman and Tree Ranger. Like the others, it's a perfectly okay scent - in fact, I might say it's a more bold pine/cedar scent than Tree Ranger. It's an earthy scent, like Woodsman, which is appropriate as these oils' scents are simply 'down to earth'. A fine manly oil...

...and then there is Miner's Mint. The first beard oil of mine I've ever had to stop a lass from stealing - literally. It's a brilliant, fresh scent that is both sweet without being reminiscent of air fresheners or femininity. Absolutely terrific - Jeremiah does not list what comprises the actual scent blend of each oil itself, only the oils in the base, but there is definitely a bit of magic at work in the hints of bourbon and spearmint. Great when swapped out on an off day with the one and only... Personal favourite.

...Ridge Runner. The name? Not a clue. Wikipedia invariably gives three definitions - a mountain-hiking greeter, a northern-central Pennsylvanian, or a bootlegger. This remains both one of my favourites, making up one of the four that I imagine I'll continue restocking indefinitely (along with Miner's Mint, Tea Tree and Morocco). Perhaps why I love this scent is it's sweet, while also a warm, pleasant blend. Really a solid, terrific citrus-scented oil (at least, reminiscent to me of Beardbrand's Spiced Citrus.

This leads us to Stirner - a very masculine oil of juniper and other scents that reminds me nostalgically of heading into my now-82-year-old mechanic grandfather's shed when I was a kid; a no-nonsense, manly beard oil - and Vagabond, a word which essentially means a wanderer and I learned in 1994 from Sir Elton John. Simply due to time, these oils I've only used thrice - to be honest, they are both fine oils, though I'm simply venture for something with perhaps more personality. What's striking about Vagabond is a scent I found familiar - possibly the Aussie sandalwood essential oil. There's also a hint of mintiness to Vagabond, attributed to the patchouli - not completely dissimilar to Miner's Mint but simply now taking a seat at the back of flight instead of riding it out in the cockpit.



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Oregon Wild Hair

Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax was the first wax recommended to me, first here on the board (twice, actually), and later from an old 'stached former workmate of mine. It's run by an honest bloke - a sculptor with a great moustache - and his missus out of America...like...all my products, actually. My favourite thing about OWH Wax is that it's non-water based and has a jolly good musk scent, which may not groove with some blokes but I love - partly because this is a scent you'll have literally under your nose. The musk is both a nice smell while not clashing with anything else aromatic you may have going on like your beard oil, cologne, deodorant, and so on. It has quite decent hold and, like Honest Amish, is very good for those newer to waxing as it's rather easy to apply and not especially fiddly. It also can come with a tube and brush (see below). Personal favourite.


Honest Amish

Does it get more natural than this? Available also in extra grit and slickHonest Amish Natural Beard Wax is not only double the size, but has a wonderful organic scent of locally harvested beeswax, oils and fruit and nut butters. There is nothing else like it. Masculine while organic, it's a win-win and looks terrific. It's also quite easy on we newer waxers.


The Bearded Bastard

The sibling of the beard oil, Woodsman Mustache Wax is everything you had come to expect - containing jojoba and the classic combination of pine needle, cedar and sandalwood, Woodsman wax compliments the oil and vice-versa...though of course it would be equally well paired with Gunbarrel or Tree Ranger. It comes in the same trademark wooden tin that both keeps it well and keeps it looking well. You know where to find it.



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Bluebeards Original

The go-to guys for washing your beard (should you choose to do so). Oddly the website only posts to the US, however many stores stock them - I personally got them via Grooming Lounge and they made the journey to Australia in just a few days. What snags people is that you shouldn't wash your beard daily and these products are not inexpensive - subsequently, however, they do last.

The Beard Wash is available in two sizes. It's likely a false effect, a placebo effect, but after using this with the Wonder Beard in the shower I always look at my beard and think things are looking particularly good. The wash smells nice and leaves your beard feeling nicer, thanks to the Bluebeards Original lime scent and aloe vera. Cleansing and good for sensitive skin, it's a terrific wash that won't strip everything away from your beard doing more harm than good. While I've never had itchiness, my 'stache does go pretty brittle - like having a pinecone under my nose - and this makes a world of difference.

Wonder Beard Intensive Repair is maybe as big a stand-out as the wash itself. It's quite simple - once or twice a week, put it on in the shower and let it be for 180 seconds. The result is a softer beard that won't shed like an 18-year-old cat all over the joint that also has a healthy shine to it.

The Beard Saver is a leave-in conditioner - how much it does can be hard to say. I often just use a finger's dab worth run through and then brushed. One thing's for sure, it carries on the terrific lime smell giving your beard a bloody nice scent. However, you may wish to give it a miss if oils do enough for you - I mostly use it because I have it and all three together is cheaper. Good stuff.



Also:

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Beardbrand's Beardsman's Kit

They sell like hotcakes, but is there good reason?

I bought this purely because I didn't - it was a gift. Essentially it's like an all-in-one kit - but rather than just being in your old shoebox, it's in a "painstakingly cut and pieced together" "custom box". The box itself is nice - if you're astute, you may notice a difference between mine and the image in the link - Beardbrand's Eric Bandholz seems to use the left compartment for the moustache comb.

The box is actually a bit deeper than it may seem in the photograph, and I simply wasn't happy with the moustache comb getting its own little spot. Another oil fits in there, and also means my Muppet fingers don't have to fumble with getting that tiny comb out. The box is nice - now that I have it I definitely imagine I'll use this for decades. That's the reason behind the $180 pricetag - this is for the aesthetics, the look, those who can appreciate good craftsmanship geared towards a little box. I imagine you could make your own and I possibly would have, though admittedly mine would look less like this box and more like Homer's birdhouse...

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...or Homer's spice rack, for that matter:

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Anyway, the moustache comb fits elsewhere just fine without hogging some space. Beardbrand have just started selling tubed wax, so maybe that'd fit, too. The individual components of the Beardsman's Kit are:

   Woodsman Moustache Wax - good choice, good to keep around, and the same size as the Oregon Wild Hair or any other one-ounce wax.

   Your choice of beard oil - from Tree Ranger, Spiced Citrus, Tea Tree, Morocco or Woodsman.

   Kent Boar's Hair Brush - simply a terrific brush, and a must-have. No better way to distribute your natural oils and those of a beard oil. To quote Sheriff Woody, "If you don't have one - get one!"

   Kent Moustache Comb - a must-have in my view. Terrific to have to care for your 'stache, shape it, or as I sometimes choose to do, comb her straight down. Great to get wax through.

   Kent Pocket Comb and Kent Large Comb - haven't used them. Seem sturdy and are from a very good brand.

   Cheap Crappy Scissors - my hairdresser sister, a bit of a scissors expert, instantly informed me that any barber's scissors worth their weight in the blue stuff they keep combs in have metal all the way through, not just a bit of the way into the handle. They're cheap scissors - but they'll cut your beard hair, or your second-grade arts and crafts project, so they may get the job done.

So, is this kit worth the money? It depends on your philosophy about things, I suppose. It's potentially something you'll have for many years and pass down to your son on his eighteenth birthday...or it's potentially going to end up in the cupboard with the insert taken out, and become a new place to store all your jams and toast spreads.



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Oregon Wild Hair Tube o' Wax and Moustache Brush

Coming in a nice bag (I may have forgotten to mention the Honest Amish waxes arrive in a nice wee burlap sack, as does the Beardsman's Kit), this contains...well, a brush, and a tube.

The brush is an interesting alternative to my moustache comb - while it won't do much to shape it, it does help get any oil or wax through very well. Ultimately I'm more a comb man apart from brushing to get oils through, so this may end up next to my old boot-cleaning brush from Afghanistan. That said, hey, it's still boar bristle and is good quality, so I'll be endeavouring to use it a bit more often now.

Meanwhile, as mentioned above, Beardbrand has only just got onto the great traveler's tube of wax that Oregon Wild Hair already have down pat. It's compact, it lasts longer than you'd think, and you might get a laugh if your lass mistakes it for chapstick and spreads it all over her lips.

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Thus concludes something I wrote during a 42-minute episode of QI XL.
I'm...not sure if I've helped or just made everything as clear as mud, but I thought I'd share my opinion.

Beard long and prosper, friends.


Wow. Great review! I thought I had a nice selection.