Pipedope, I honestly don't think there has been a beard in recorded history, at least not any any photos I've seen, that comes close to the awesomeness of your beard/'stache. Seriously, you win the trophy in my books over and over again. You are a blessed man.

Saint Augustine said the beard was a “masculine ornament,” given to us by God not for any practical use, but for our dignity.

Apatchy Beard's Thread