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Dec 24 15 11:50 PM
So, my friends, today marks three years being bearded for me. I last shaved Christmas Day, 2012. I guess that my beard was really born on January 2, 2013, however, since that was the day, the first time ever, in fact, that I consciously, with encouragement from my wife, chose not to shave off the holiday scruff. Little did either of us know the monster we’d create with that seemingly innocuous decision. It’s been a journey of self-discovery unlike anything I’ve experienced since I left for grad school in my early 20s, one that’s pushed personal boundaries I thought inviolate and, because of that, has made me a more confident, happier, man. Unexpectedly, though my wife and I have always reveled in a deep, close relationship, one rooted in friendship, mutual respect, and love, growing this beard has brought us even closer because it knocked down some barriers for me. That alone would have made this worthwhile! And to think, it’s just a hank of hair.
Though this marks three years for me my beard isn’t a threeard (is that a word?). I did regular maintenance trims for the first 18 months, particularly on the sides, and I even allowed my barber to shorten it to 11.5 inches last June (I think I left permanent fingernail indentations in his chair that day due to my white-knuckle grip!) to insure I’d fit the ‘Under 12-inch’ category at our local beard contest. Many parts are at terminal length, though. My mustache, for example, hasn’t been touched in 30 months and reached terminal length over a year ago, spanning a pretty consistent 18 inches without stretching, not quite enough to reach around my head, a rather silly goal I’d set for myself early-on. You don’t see the length because I usually just brush it into my beard. My soul patch, is tiny, maybe, MAYBE, getting to 1.5 inches if I stretch it! The chin hairs just beneath are several inches long, though. The center of my mustache is pretty short too, probably topping out at 2 inches now for the hairs in my philtrum. Interestingly all of these hairs are the ones that still bear some pigment – mostly red with some brown and grey.
It’s the cheek, jawline, and lower chin hairs that form the bulk, and most of the grey. As it hangs my beard now measures just over 14 inches, suggesting that it’s still growing (remember the 11.5 inch cut back last June?), though I think, based on the thinness at the bottom, it’s approaching terminal length. However, it stretches to well beyond 17 inches and this is where things get interesting now. When I sit, slightly slouched, my beard reaches well beyond my navel, creating challenges at work. Imagine having a colleague drop by your desk and when you try to turn to greet him your beard’s caught between your stomach and your keyboard tray! Or better yet, imagine getting your beard caught between your thighs when you’re doing sit-ups! The latter is quite demotivating I assure you. And then there are the, um, challenges of intimacy (braids, apparently, are particularly unwelcome here).
My point in all that was that I’ve sort of reached a tipping point with my beard between the joy of wearing it and the annoyances it causes. The joys are manifold – the comments of praise from passers-by, the feeling of it sweeping across my chest (and the sensation of wearing a big beard garners loads of bonus points. It simply must be experienced to be believed, hackneyed though that saying is), the feel of having a plush scarf swaddling my neck and face, particularly in bed, the versatility, the sheer pride in having grown the damn thing, the ability to hide in plain sight. The annoyances are equally present. In addition to those I mentioned above, and as I’ve discussed before, I always have to think about where my beard is, which usually isn’t a problem but, as an example, my wife and I went to see the new ‘Star Wars’ movie today and my beard was regularly getting caught in my elbow – I’d go to move and have to extricate it with a bit of a sweeping motion. In a crowded theater this was a tad awkward. I can’t cross my arms across my chest anymore without consciously considering whether the beard is better atop or below the arms, something that also depends on just how frustrated I am with the crap I just heard in the meeting where I wanted to cross my arms in the first place. Sleeping is a challenge, though braiding helps. It takes at least 30 minutes for it to dry after a shower. And turtleneck shirts! Argh! I spend a good 30 seconds just making sure I’ve gotten all the beard out of the collar, which comes after I’ve ensured there’s none entrained in the sleeves. Interestingly, eating is rarely an issue any more, I think because there’s little that changes when your beard gets longer. I learned to eat as a bearded guy ages ago, and the longer beard poses few new challenges, if any.
Where do I go from here? Today, at least, I’m committed to seeing where terminal length lies for me. I have the green light from home and work on that. I also want to let the sides, which I kept tapered for so long, grow in completely to see how that changes the shape of my beard. I already notice the additional mass there closing off the gap in the middle. After that, I don’t know. In all honesty I really liked the look of my beard and mustache at about 1 year +/- of growth, so I’ve actually toyed with the idea of going back to that. The problem is that I really love wearing this huge beard despite its issues and the thought of cutting it gives me shivers. So, we’ll see. I’ve always been slow to change and keeping on the growth course is both comfortable and easy.
With that here’s my three-year update photo. Sorry, Trick, there’s nothing special here. I just decided to show my beard as it is, unadulterated, just washed and combed. I did, at least, ask my wife to shoot the photo so I’m not all squirmed-up in a selfie.
As I’ve said umpteen times before, and remains sincere today as ever, I wouldn’t be here today if not for the support, camaraderie, friendship, and advice from all of you. Thank you, my friends.
I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a joyous, healthy, happy New Year.
Tom
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Dec 25 15 12:20 AM
Dare to grow the beard you were destined to have!
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